I’ve been struggling with what to post about, and really a lack of motivation so, please bear with me if posts are scarce right now. I’m having to really tap into my commitment tank to keep posting and sharing. I suppose the issue is that from what I’ve been learning, I’m not sure what I should be posting so right now, I’m trying to think of my posts ahead so that I can maintain a level of consistency and keep going. And to be honest with you, it gets really hard to continue with something when you’re not even sure if anyone’s being blessed by it so, guys, if you are being blessed by the blog and the blog posts, please do let me know. It would really be encouraging to me.
But today, I wanted to share about another time when I needed encouragement, and I believe I’ve written about this/spoken about this before, but it was during a period in my life when I was job seeking. I’d just graduated from university and wasn’t really quite sure what I wanted to do. I hadn’t focused on searching for a job during my final year because I’d wanted to focus on my final year exams and graduate with as good of a grade as I could. My mentality was, I can always search for a job when I finish but I only have one final year. But who knew it was going to be this hard?
To be honest, the whole job searching process left me dejected, broken and upset. Within all this there was a critical time when I really just wanted to give up. It was strange, I’d apply to different companies, and I’d get to levels within the application process which I’d never gotten to before. I remember applying for a position and passing the numerical test stage which I’d always struggled on and had typically failed on in the past; and it was for a top company which I’d failed before. I remember thinking, why am I passing these difficult stages only to fail on levels that came naturally to me, that I’d never struggled with before e.g., video interviews? These were natural to me, so I wasn’t sure why I was failing.
But I remember in that time, as I was pondering and sharing my thoughts with God that I just felt Him respond that He wanted to show me that I could do what I’d thought was previously impossible. That I was smart enough to pass this stage, like anyone else. But that he didn’t want me to go further with this application which is why I’d failed on the ‘easy’ bits. Now, I understood but it didn’t stop me from wanting to just pass an interview!!
The cycle continued where I’d try, I’d pass then I’d fail. Until it got to a point one afternoon when I was sat in front of my laptop (the same one I’m using to type this post), and I just wanted to give up. I had a new application in front of me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I felt dejected and I just wanted to give up. I’d tried so many times before to no avail and didn’t really want to try again.
I’d like to say that it was only a brief feeling and then I pulled myself up but no, I genuinely wanted to give up. At this point, I’d been in this job application process for 3 months. However, for some reason, I found myself intentionally searching for motivation videos to encourage myself. In fact, looking back at my YouTube history, this was the exact search word I used… ‘encouragement job’. And by the grace of God, I found a video by this girl which not only changed my mind but motivated me with the word of God. And she shared her story and I kid you not; that very same day, I typed out my application and by God’s grace, I got the job. The process of me getting the job as well is another testimony but I’ll leave that for another day. But I share this to say, if you’ve heard from God, if God has spoken to you and you’re looking up to God for something; don’t give up! It might take some time, but it will happen. Trust Him and He’ll do it. Don’t give up, not yet.
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)