I started this blog because God called me to it. In my quiet time He told me that we have a responsibility to share the truth with others. The revelation you’ve received, you need to share it with others. And it took me two years from the time he told me that to the time that I actually started this blog the week of my 22nd birthday.
But, apart from sharing the truth and the things that God had been teaching me, I also wanted to be transparent; to share my struggles and my growth. To show that despite how others might view you, no-one’s perfect, especially myself.
I’ve been taking a course lately that’s been encouraging me to use my story to encourage, and help others. And it made me want to share this story. Also, God has been placing it upon my heart that I need to be more open with others; to share more of myself which I’m sure we all agree is not always easy to do. But… growing up I had somewhat of a struggle with my weight. I didn’t have a problem in the aspect of I thought I was some type of way but the problem came with what others told me of myself. Family friends and family would tell me… you need to watch your weight. You know the type of body you have so you need to be careful about what you eat etc. etc. They were trying to be helpful, but to the seven year old me it left me with a negative body image. I felt big, fat and to be frank, ugly. I would look into the mirror and not appreciate my body. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror, or me.
I would go to school and compare myself to the other girls. The reason why so, so and so boy doesn’t like me is because I’m fat and I’m not as pretty as her. Those negative words about my body, my weight that I would hear on and off through my childhood damaged my self-esteem.
People looking at me would not have known that this girl had such low self-esteem. People would tell me oh you’re always smiling and happy. But the truth was deep down I wasn’t always. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror and point out something good about my body. In fact, I tried to hide my body. Throughout my childhood to my university days I struggled with this, and I would still have continued to struggle with this if not for God. So, I share this to brag about the grace and goodness of God.
Throughout that time, He protected me and healed me in so many ways – more ways than I have time to type, and whilst we still have more healing to do; He has taught me a lot and has removed many negative layers from me and He did it so expertly that at time I look back and I’m unable to even reconcile where I am now to where I was all those years ago. And, he’s still doing it now; reminding me that my story is powerful and I should not be ashamed to share my struggles. In fact. I’ve always wanted to share my stories, my experience; words I’d always wanted to voice but wouldn’t pass my lips. But with God surely there’s a time for everything. ☺️
So, if you’re going through something that you’re finding hard to share with others. Can I recommend you share it with God and vocie it out loud to Him? I’ve found that even within that and being honest with Him, it’s so freeing. Why? Because God knows it all anyways. When you committed that crime, that sin; when that situation happened to you, He saw it. He knows about it and he still loved you despite it. There’s nothing you could do to make Him turn away from you in disgust. He knows, he saw and he still chooses you. Don’t turn away from him. Take it to him and let his love heal you through it.
Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. Hebrews 4:15-16 (MSG)