Looking back I would have never classed myself as someone who would agree and state that they struggle with negative thoughts but surprisingly, lately it’s come to my attention that there have been things that I’ve failed to notice/deal with; especially toxic things that have been a part of me for so long that I’d come to expect them/think of them as normal.
One of those things for me was fear…
Growing up, I wouldn’t have classed myself as a fearful person. In fact, people tend to say to me that their first impression of me is that I’m very serious (the furthest away from giving a fearful impression! Haha!). Now, while I wouldn’t have classed myself as fearful, there were fear-driven tendencies within me. I was afraid of speaking my mind and sharing my opinions for fear of being classed as ‘bossy’ (got that a lot), or of confrontation. Now, I know where my fear of confrontation came from but I can also say that I’ve transformed my ‘bossiness’ and now class it as ‘leadership’ skills (lool, God help me).
There have been times where I’ve literally been overwhelmed with the fear of life; asking myself, what is the purpose of life? What is the purpose of our daily routines and the daily hustle and bustle we all go through? But I’m glad that through it all, and no matter how long these spells lasted; that God was always there. And to be honest, whenever I think back, the one constant is that it was Him that brought me out and through.
This week (yesterday to be precise) I was overcome with another one of these spells with thoughts coming at me out of nowhere; that I wasn’t born again, that I wasn’t a believer, that I was destined for hell. Now reading this, it may seem as a completely ludicrous thought but do you know that there are times when we take even the most ridiculous of lies as the truth? Sitting there as these thoughts came into my mind, I was frozen; shocked because I had never thought of this before, scared because part of me believed this to be true. In that moment where my thoughts were racing and my heart was beating so rapidly there was only one thing I remembered; my walk with God, where I started from and how far I’ve come. I won’t lie and say scripture verses were coming to my head but rather in that moment I forced myself to look at my past and try to find the truth.
The feeling didn’t instantly dissipate but I can say that when I’d sorted my memories, the one piece of comfort to me was this thought – ‘this cannot be a lie’. All these experiences, all these times I’ve served God willingly cannot be a lie. I’ve chosen God and I’m not leaving unless He throws me away (which is impossible).
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
So what do I want to say? There are many things that I want to share but the release to share them hasn’t come yet. There are many things we go through in life but I would like us to know that we’re not alone; God is with us. He will never leave us nor forsake us.
Secondly, not every thought we have is ours. I’ll say it again, not all thoughts in your head are generated by you. We need to be able to discern the different voices we listen to (with the help of the Holy Spirit). We also need to hold on to the truth; the truth of God’s Word which is not feelings/emotions. The truth is the truth no matter how we feel so when these thoughts come, let’s focus on the truth – none of God’s children can be snatched out of His hands; it’s simply impossible.
27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.
While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. John 17:12
These attacks can come when we least expect, but like He did for me, He will bring us all through.
Share with us below – how have you overcome periods of uncertainty and fear?