As this year comes to an end I just want to spend a few moments reflecting on how awesome God has been to me this year. Things have definitely not been perfect nor have things always gone according to the way I planned them or wanted them to go but through it all, the thing I can say without a shadow of a doubt is that God has been with me through it all and that He has been awesome and a good God, for which I am so grateful. He was faithful to me even when I was unfaithful, where else can we find a God so loving?!
I suppose we can take this post as my testimony of how amazing God has been to me. Starting final year I cannot say that I was fully prepared for what I was getting myself into (lol!) or even clued up as to what I should expected or should have expected. However, God really started to work on my heart and my expectations. He brought to the surface things that had been buried such as how I have been measuring my self-worth and finding my self-confidence in my grades. I remember when He questioned my motives and asked me what would happen if I didn’t get the first that I was expecting; how would I have viewed myself- would I have viewed myself as less than?
To be honest, at that point I would have. Those questions really helped me to evaluate myself. Why should my self-worth, my intelligence, my confidence be based on my grade? Why did I use these things as a measure of my worth? Why were these my comfort blanket and the screen with which I presented myself to the world? Was people saying ‘wow, you’re so smart!’ and ‘wow, how did you manage it?’ so important to me? Were people’s opinions so important to me… These realisations broke me and challenged and made me go back to my foundation and taught me that God approves of me. Regardless of my results, whether I ‘fail’ or ‘succeed’, that God has already called me and chosen me. He loves me whether the world does or not and it’s His applause that matters most.
Through this experience, I’ve learnt to seek Him first. Sure, I’m still striving for my first class but now I’m comfortable with finding my self-worth in Christ knowing that if by some measure I fall short of the first class, I can still stand straight and upright, with confidence, knowing that Christ saw my effort and his approval and recognition is enough and will be enough no matter the outcome.
So, friends… let’s remember that God is in our corner. No matter what happens it is well with us and God has approved us. Everything works together for our good, we love God and are called according to His purpose.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28, KJV
Let’s keep walking with the Spirit and letting God guide us and work in us. Let us not resist his probing as God reveals things that he wants to deal with and help us solve, as was evident in my case. I can honestly say that my realisation bought me peace and comfort so much so that even in the difficult times of final year I can say that I am not anxious about my future or my results as I know that God has me in his hand and heart and is already proud of me regardless of my results. I live to please God and not man, and I know that he actively wants to be gracious to me. What a confidence booster!
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
Isaiah 30:18, NIV
I hope this post has been of value to you and that you’ve taken something meaningful away from it. This is my goal. 🙂
Finally, thank you so much for joining me in my last post of 2018- see you in 2019! *love heart*
Keep the light burning! Keep seeking God first. 🙂